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Read the following article carefully, boys, it could just save your ass in the future. Every week, the writers at MensPlayground.com will scour the Internet in hopes of finding ways to help you with the "women". We can't promise that our techniques or the stuff we write will help, considering all of us all pretty much given up on the dating screen and will either purchase a mail-order wife or use our lungs to blow one up. Anyway, when you are done with this article, why not check out the MensPlayground.com discussion board. We have a great joke message board with a few hundred postings. The Secrets of Women's Language - A must-read for any man Keywords and their meanings: "Fine": This is the word a woman uses at the end of any argument that she feels she is right about but needs to shut you up. NEVER use fine to describe how a woman looks. This will cause you to have one of those arguments. "Five
minutes": This is half an hour. It is equivalent to the five
minutes that your football game is going to last before you take out the
trash, so it's an even trade. "Nothing": This means something and you should be on your toes. "Nothing" is usually used to describe the feeling a woman has of wanting to turn you inside out, upside down, and backwards. "Nothing" usually signifies an argument that will last "Five Minutes" and end with the word "Fine". "Go Ahead"
(with raised eyebrows): This is a dare. One that will result in a woman
getting upset over "Nothing" and will end with the word
"Fine". <Loud Sigh>: This is not actually a word, but is still often a verbal statement very misunderstood by men. A <Loud Sigh> means she thinks you are an idiot at that moment and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you over "Nothing". <Soft Sigh>: Again, not a word, but a verbal statement. <Soft Sighs> are one of the few things that some men actually understand. She is content. Your best bet is to not move or breathe and she will stay content. "Oh": This word followed by any statement is trouble. Example; "Oh, let me get that". Or, "Oh, I talked to him about what you were doing last night." If she says "Oh" before a statement, RUN, do not walk, to the nearest exit. She will tell you that she is "Fine" when she is done tossing your clothes out the window, but do not expect her to talk to you for at least 2 days. "Oh" as the lead to a sentence usually signifies that you are caught in a lie. Do not try to lie more to get out of it, or you will get raised eyebrows "Go ahead" followed by acts so unspeakable that we can't bring ourselves to write about them. "That's Okay": This is one of the most dangerous statements that a woman can say to a man. "That's Okay" means that she wants to think long and hard before paying you retributions for what ever it is that you have done. "That's Okay" is often used with the word "Fine" and used in conjunction with a raised eyebrow "Go ahead". At some point in the near future when she has plotted and planned, you are going to be in some mighty big trouble. "Please Do": This is not a statement, it is an offer. A woman is giving you the chance to come up with whatever excuse or reason you have for doing whatever it is that you have done. You have a fair chance to tell the truth, so be careful and you shouldn't get a "That's Okay". "Thanks": A woman is thanking you. Do not faint; just say you're welcome. "Thanks a lot": This is much different from "Thanks". A woman will say, "Thanks a lot" when she is really ticked off at you. It signifies that you have hurt her in some callous way, and will be followed by the "Loud Sigh". Be careful not to ask what is wrong after the "Loud Sigh", as she will only tell you "Nothing". I hope this clears up any misunderstandings... |
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