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I am in love with a girl stydying in my college. She is of my age and studying the same subject but not in my class.

I dont know her name or any of her detail except for where she lives. She also dont know anything about me. My objective is to make her my girlfriend. As far as I have noticed she doesnt have any boyfriend.

I have subscribed to your 7 day crash course and after reading it I understood that I have to approach her and talk to her at any cost. But there was a problem. I am too nervous and afraid. In one of your letters you had said “Men would opt to fight in Iraq rather than talking to a beautiful woman.” Well that perfectly fits me. But after reading the letters sent by you I made my mind to talk to my dream girl. And as my luck would have it I saw her in the college near the water cooler a few days later. I decided to talk to her. But I soon got very very nervous. My hands got sweaty. In fact in the matter of seconds I was drenched in sweat. But still determined I approached her. She was standing alone. I said to her “Excuse me, I think I have seen you in Whitefield area”. The moment I told this I knew I have spoiled it. She was silent for a few moments and said “So..”, and she walked away.

My friends said that I should directly go up to her and say that I am interested in her.

Sumit

Hi there Sumit,

Let’s see what we can do here…

Okay, first of all, it’s okay to want to make her your girlfriend, but do yourself a favor:

STOP OBSESSING OVER HER.

She may be the girl of your dreams, but don’t just focus on her and only her. If you place too much importance on this girl, you’ll have a hard time getting her.

I want you to start pretending like you don’t like her!

That’ll be step #1.

After that, ask yourself: What is it that’s making you afraid to talk to her? Why are you feeling so nervous?

Then ask yourself: What bad things would happen to me if I talk to her?

See, here’s the deal. Something in your belief system is making you feel bad or expect to fail. You need to figure out what that is and train yourself to respond differently. I go into detail about how to do this in the new edition of my book.

Your opener wasn’t the best. You need to come up with something more open-ended or interactive. Remember: You must always have something to follow up with! Otherwise you’ll get the “So…” line again. One thing you could have said to her was “Hey, are you studying engineering? You look like an engineering girl.” Then she’d say “yes” “no” or “what do you mean by that?” Then you’d follow up with “You know, engineering girls always look all quiet and thoughtful, but then when they get out of school they’re like wild party monsters. Is that you?” Then riff from there. There’s lots of places you can go with it.

But you have to have something prepared! I’d recommend you practice on girls you don’t like as much so that when you see this girl next, you’re ready to talk to her.

As for walking up to her and telling her you’re interested, here’s my answer:

NO!!!!!

Don’t EVER do that! That’s the worst thing you could do.

Your first step is to meet her and talk to her a bit. If you can engage her in conversation, all the better. Get her laughing and having a good time. Then, ask her to join you for a cup of coffee. If she can’t do that, ask for her number. Then get her to hang out with you somehow. But NEVER tell her you’re interested in her! You want to keep that sexual tension bubbling. If you make your intentions clear, the girl is going to feel like you have ulterior motives for everything.

And if this doesn’t work out, just remember it’s not the end of the world. There are other girls out there for you to have a great time with. So don’t sweat this one. Just have fun.

I go over all sorts of tactics and techniques for meeting women in my book The Art Of Approaching. Not only that, but I give you all types of advice on how to read a woman’s body language so all the guess work is taken out of whether a girl likes you or not. In addition to that, you can learn how to flirt with a woman to build that sexual tension, and create amazing confidence in yourself so you don’t have to worry about rejection! If you haven’t read my book yet, be sure to check it out here:

Download Your Copy Of The Art Of Approaching Now

Don’t wait. The time to enjoy incredible success with women is today!

Wishing you success,

Joseph Matthews
a.k.a. “Thundercat”