Archive for October, 2006

Another Johnny Joke

The teacher gave her fifth grade class an assignment:

Have your parents tell you a story with a moral at the end. The next day the kids came back and 1 by 1 began to tell their stories.

“Johnny, do you have a story to share?”

“Yes ma’am. My daddy told a story about my Aunt Carol. She was a pilot in Desert Storm and her plane got hit. She had to bail out over enemy territory and all she had was a small flask of whiskey, a pistol and a survival knife. She drank the whiskey on the way down so it wouldn’t break and then her parachute landed right in the middle of twenty enemy troops.

She shot fifteen of them with the gun until she ran out of bullets, killed four more with the knife, till the blade broke, and then she killed the last Iraqi with her bare hands.”

“Good Heavens” said the horrified teacher. “What kind of moral did your daddy tell you from this horrible story?”

“Stay the fuck away from Aunt Carol when she’s been drinking.”

Social Worker

A guy walks into the local welfare office, marches straight up to the counter and says, “Hi… You know, I just HATE drawing welfare. I’d really rather have a job.”

The social worker behind the counter says, “Your timing is excellent. We just got a job opening from a very wealthy old man who wants a chauffeur and bodyguard for his beautiful nymphomaniac daughter. You’ll have to drive around in his Mercedes, but he’ll supply all of your clothes. Because of the long hours, meals will be provided. You’ll be expected to escort her on her overseas holiday trips. You will have to satisfy her sexual urges. You’ll be provided a two-bedroom apartment above the garage. The starting salary is $200,000 a year.”

The guy, wide-eyed, says, “You’re bullshittin’ me!”

The social worker says, “Yeah, well… you started it.”

Should Nick Ever Take Jessica Back?

Should Nick Ever Take Jessica Back?I’m 23 and I started reading “The System” two years ago. My older brother, who had just recently married, gave me his copy of your book after his wedding and told me to read it and learn from it. At the time I was involved with Lisette and thought, “Why the heck do I need a dating book?” But I read it and found it really interesting. The principles worked and things seemed to be going just fine between us. I was a Challenge. We both had our own circle of friends and kept things fresh.

I started dating Lisette when I was 21 and she was 18. It was young love. She always talked about marriage and she even wanted me to move in with her when we were both attending university in the same city. I thought we were too young, and told her it was best to take things slow and put an emphasis on school first. (Read the article)

The Problem: Inertia

The Problem: InertiaI’ve read a number of your articles where you talk about having “game” (the ability to meet women, get numbers, etc.) Unfortunately, I don’t have any! I’m more of a home-type person who wants to get out and do more with life but a lot of times I find it difficult to do. It seems that I’m at war with myself about going out! Half of me says to get out and go do something and the other half just doesn’t want to do anything.

Can you help me to put this war with myself on a permanent truce? (Read the article)

Undergoing Laser Body Hair Removal

Undergoing Laser Body Hair RemovalLaser body hair removal works better than most of the other methods out there mainly because it is not only painless but lasts far longer than others.

This is because it works by removing the hair from the very follicle, thereby prolonging the time it will take to grow back up again.

While laser body hair removal method is one of the best ways of removing unwanted body hair, it is important for you to know some facts before going ahead with it.

This fact is the high cost of laser body hair removal. (Read the article)

Court says yes to breasts

Court says yes to breastsIn what might just be one of the most important legal decision in Florida’s history – almost certainly more important than the ones that gave George Bush the presidency in 2000 - a court has upheld a woman’s right to mount political protests by exposing her breasts.

Elizabeth Book was arrested for baring her breasts in 2004, under a law that banned acts of indecency in public, including women going topless

The law she was protesting against, of course, was the same anti-toplessness law under which she was arrested. (Read the article)

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